Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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