So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize