i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
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its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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