Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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