Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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