he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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