Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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