I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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