found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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