the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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