2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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