I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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