Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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