I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize