And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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