I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize