i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
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I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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