you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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