Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.

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  (732): we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ogx9
  Replies (6) Good night (2911) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.

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  (732): I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT. http://tfl.nu/aknw
  Replies (44) Good night (4575) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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  (818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw
  Replies (18) Good night (3610) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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  (817): He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house http://tfl.nu/yyye
  Replies (51) Good night (14517) Bad night (1778) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did

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  (845): the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did http://tfl.nu/11j3
  Replies (11) Good night (1022) Bad night (4263) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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  (570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32
  Replies (3) Good night (1916) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time

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  (843): you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time http://tfl.nu/xd6c
  Replies (7) Good night (1882) Bad night (498)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me

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  (780): You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me http://tfl.nu/3d09
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.

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  (208): You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago. http://tfl.nu/c2e3
  Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.

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  (516): Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/jc2j
  Replies (15) Good night (1180) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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  (914): I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm. http://tfl.nu/kbjg
  Replies (12) Good night (1343) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has

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  (860): Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has http://tfl.nu/jd7y
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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  (541): I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it http://tfl.nu/0g6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2006) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.

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  (979): Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log. http://tfl.nu/tdyo
  Replies (3) Good night (239) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

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  (518): I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean http://tfl.nu/nhpo
  Replies (1) Good night (1096) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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