I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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