Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool

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  (717): i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool http://tfl.nu/o66k
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

  (661): View more from California

  Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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  (480): I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED. (661): Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand. http://tfl.nu/omij
  Replies (16) Good night (3465) Bad night (485)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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  (434): I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach. http://tfl.nu/7n8a
  Replies (14) Good night (3960) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song

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  (508): i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song http://tfl.nu/g4s1
  Replies (13) Good night (3889) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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  (678): Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again. http://tfl.nu/y1d0
  Replies (32) Good night (1138) Bad night (6055) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

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  (914): I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day. http://tfl.nu/x5t9
  Replies (20) Good night (3502) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

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  (308): i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj . http://tfl.nu/vtaw
  Replies (17) Good night (8053) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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  (910): Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days. http://tfl.nu/nw4c
  Replies (10) Good night (601) Bad night (4232) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.

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  (860): Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/qxy1
  Replies (8) Good night (3226) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

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  (435): For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job http://tfl.nu/nykr
  Replies (6) Good night (2073) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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  (+44): Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/zew5
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.

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  (770): The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten. http://tfl.nu/cbpd
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (405)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?

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  (404): Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture? http://tfl.nu/tx1u
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.

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  (503): Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in. http://tfl.nu/pa8o
  Replies (7) Good night (1675) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.

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  (303): You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack. http://tfl.nu/ud5l
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt

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