I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize