DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize