How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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