What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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