Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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