I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize