Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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