here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize