I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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