this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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