i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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