I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize