can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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