Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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