I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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