Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize