Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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