You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
my liver is dry heaving
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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