Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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