Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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