I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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