is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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