we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have post one night stand depression
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize