i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize