I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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