my mouth tastes like poor choices
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
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I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud ๐ณ
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Iโm getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
Thatโs two in three months. You really know how to live.
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