Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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