just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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