Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize