I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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